I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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