there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You made out with two different species that night
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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