in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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