I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you told grandpa to call you daddy
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
