Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
