Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
