dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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