..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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