This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
