aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
