I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
