We're like a lot better than the average bears
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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