We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
