It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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