dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Randomize
