So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have tasted many bathrooms
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
