Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize