i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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