There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
