rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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