She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
