That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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