I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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