Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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