his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My feet surprised me
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