before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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