can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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