exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
