Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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