Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
