ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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