I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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