Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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