Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
