Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
