Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
