If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
