I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
