Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I am available for nakedness
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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