If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
