Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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