...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
