How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
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