I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize