you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize