there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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