i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
