Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it glows. i had to have it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
