Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
