Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
