I just gift wrapped bread.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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