he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
