): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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