Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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