I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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