It's Friday. Sex?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
