i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
