my mouth tastes like poor choices
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
