My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
