I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
