im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
