so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
