Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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